There's a Word I Can't Spell
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If I can sound old for a minute, I grew up at a time when texts didn't auto-correct and we actually had to remember how words were spelled…
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Creative Neuroses
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I’m a writer. I’m not supposed to let anything stop me. I should write all day, every day, in my sleep, in the car...
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Greek Tragedy
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"What's this guy doing?"
I looked over to see a guy in the driver seat of the Honda zipping up his pants. He looked at us, then started his car, and began backing out of his space...
Read MoreHigh School Parties in the Desert
/Growing up in El Paso, there were a lot of ways for teenagers to get into trouble. We could go across the border and drink (back when it was safer to do so) or go out in the desert and drink. Basically what I'm getting at is that there were plenty of opportunities for minors out there to drink.
El Paso is right on the border with New Mexico, so when there were huge groups of teenagers out in the desert, it became tough for law enforcement to know who had jurisdiction to break up the party and issue citations or perform arrests.
To solve this issue, the New Mexico and Texas State Troopers formed an alliance called "The Wolf Pack" that would roll out to the parties together. That way, once they figured out which state the party was in, the appropriate team could do the work...
Read MoreTipping a porto-john accidentally on purpose
/El Paso was a strange place to grow up. Amongst the numerous peculiarities about the city, one is that housing is relatively cheap. While there are apartments, there also always seemed to be housing developments on the edge of town, expanding the city's footprint and providing a wealth of low cost houses to purchase or rent.
When I was in high school, several new neighborhoods were being built just a few minutes drive from my school. At night, when there was nothing for teenagers to do, we'd often drive around these neighborhoods and sometimes explore the new houses.
One night, while cruising around one of these construction sites, we came upon the portable bathroom that served the workers by day. After a moment of joking and egging-on by my friends, I decided to tip over the porto-john...
What makes you a boy?
/This exchange took place between my 2 1/2-year-old son and I while driving.
Son: "Daddy, you're a boy and a daddy?"
Me: "That's right. And you're a boy and a son."
I Once Tried to Write a Joke
/I once tried to write a joke. Not a "what's the deal with airline food" joke, but a "two guys walk into a bar" type joke. The former is the true art form. Stand up requires thinking of something funny, then trying different phrasing and iterations to get the precise wording of the joke. The comedian then has to make choices around timing, delivery, pauses, attitude, mannerisms and a plethora of other details before it's complete. As Jerry Seinfeld points out, memorizing the words is step one of a hundred steps to make a joke work.
Read MoreLiberty Hill Witch Hunt
/Several years ago, I don't know exactly when because this event is not important enough to have registered that detail in my mind, I was at my sister's house in Georgetown about a week or so before Halloween. It was on this evening that we decided to find a witches' grave.
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