Creative Neuroses

I almost called this creative constipation, but that would be more for shock value than actually providing any meaningful commentary.  I figure I can still get the shock by making you read it anyway. 

I’m in a weird spot.  I’ve been derailed.  By various things that are probably not hard to guess. 

But I’m a writer.  I’m not supposed to let anything stop me.  I should write all day, every day, in my sleep, in the car, at the dinner table, writing a novel with my left hand and a short story with my right. 

I wrote a novel last year.  Or over the course of a longer period than that, really.  I’ve been querying agents which is next to the least amount of fun I can think of.  You know what will really get those creative juices flowing?  Administrative work!  Make yourself a spreadsheet, compile agent contact info, submission guidelines, tastes, preferences, anecdotes, client list, comp titles, collate emails based on all that information. 

Query agents all day, every day, in your sleep, in the car… 

I know, I know.  It’s what all writers go through.  That doesn’t make it any more fun than when your parents told you everybody has to get shots from the doctor. 

For me, the joy is always in the creative process itself.  I don’t particularly care for any of the ancillary activities that come along with the projects. 

I played music both solo and in bands for about a decade.  I wrote songs and made records that I’m really proud of.  I also booked shows, did promotion, filled merch orders, helped print shirts, played shows all day, every day, in my sleep, in the car… 

The waiting… I’m not so good at it.  In the same way I have trouble sitting on a gift, waiting for a loved one’s birthday to present it, I’d rather just give it over and not have all the anxiety and anticipation. 

I realize I just compared my creative work to a gift… eh, I’ll keep it. 

Still, in the age of the internet, it’d be so easy to just create and put the thing out there.  Maybe I’ll do that at some point. 

We’re coming up on the fifteen year anniversary of my first record, by the way.  It’s been out of circulation for a while, but I’ll get that back online soon.  I’ve also been making plans for a new record.  At some point I’ll pull the trigger on recording that.  I’ll probably just put that straight online as well. 

As the article title suggests, I have creative neuroses.  I’m more emotionally stable when I have a project (or two, or six) to keep me going.  That’s why in the last few months I’ve been writing posts, making videos, celebrating mullets and working on music. 

I’m about a tenth of the way through another novel as well, which I’ve been slacking on for the various reasons I made you infer above. 

This post is mostly to try and get me going.  To let you know some things I’m up to and make me accountable for them.  To try and get back on track.  Creating all day, every day, in my sleep, in the car...