Being Understood is Overrated

When I was seventeen, in the midst of an argument with my older sister, I asked her to please just listen to what I was saying.  In response she asked, “Is it that you want to be heard or you want to be understood?” 

In my frustration I replied, again, “Just listen to me.” 

In the moment, I’m sure I was just trying to be contrary.  Especially since instead of listening when I asked for her to listen, she responded with a question about what I meant when I said to listen.  Still, I’d say this is still generally my opinion: being understood is overrated. 

I’m talking about being understood in the crying-to-your-best-friend-after-a-break-up, “I just need someone who understands me,” sense of being understood.  This is validation-seeking of the most intimate variety.  If someone understands me then I’m justified in my existence.  I’m normal. 

This is dumb.  Seek to understand yourself.  Be confident in that.  Present that to the world.  Be heard.  If someone doesn’t understand you that’s their problem. 

Do you think Picasso was understood?  Do you think Ghandi was understood?  Do you think anyone understands why Lady Gaga wore a meat dress?  No, these people just lived as themselves and screw anyone who didn’t understand them. 

Of course, the obsession with being heard is probably it’s own form of neuroses and leads to blogs like this, Twitter and Instagram accounts, YouTube videos, albums and books, etc.  Still, at least that’s me being me and screw anyone that doesn’t get it.