Habits of Highly Successful Clickbait

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You know those ubiquitous online videos/listicles/tweets that tell you all the habits that successful people have in common?  They’re all garbage.  Seriously.  Stop reading and watching them.  Stop thinking at all about the habits of other people and how you might reach the same heights by drinking the same smoothie every morning as the Comte de Rochambeau. 

Let’s just start with what I’ll call the “Enzyte hypothesis".  Do you remember Enzyte?  In the mid-‘90s, they were “natural” pills purported to enlarge men’s junk.  Okay, maybe not enlarge, but there are a number of ads over the years that have claimed to do so.  We’ll use the biggest brand name as a catch-all for the industry.  Like Coke.  Anyway… we know those pills don’t work because if they did every dude would be walking around with more than his share of "enhancement".  We don’t even have to run a scientific study, we can just look at the population. 

If we apply the Enzyte hypothesis to these “habits of successful people”, we can assume that if any handful of behaviors alone were the key to success, the world would be filled with rich entrepreneurs and celebrities.  The fact that so many people stress themselves out trying to follow this type of advice and still live in studio apartments should be sufficient evidence these lists are B.S. 

If that bit of logic isn’t enough deterrent, we can examine some other shortcomings of these lists. 

  1. They can’t seem to agree on the number of behaviors.  Is it eight?  Is it eighteen?  Maybe six?  No seven!  I mean damn, you’d think if there was a definitive list of behaviors shared by successful people, we’d have a little more consistency here.
  2. Related to the above, our lists don’t seem to agree on the behaviors themselves.  They vacillate between the specific (keep a journal!) and the vague (create a supportive network!). Again, consistency.  None of them, of course, suggests you shouldn’t waste time reading dumbass success habit listicles.
  3. The lists ignore things successful folks don’t have in common… Einstein famously wore the same clothes every day.  Is there something to that?  Who didn’t tell Oprah?  She’s missing out.
  4. They ignore bad habits… Ernest Hemingway and Edgar Allen Poe were both raging alcoholics.  I don’t see massive alcohol consumption recommended on any of these articles or videos.
  5. They ignore data that doesn’t fit the narrative.  For example, many of these lists suggest waking up early to maximize time in the day for work and yet Einstein (I return to him as everyone’s favorite example of genius) reportedly slept ten hours a night and took naps throughout the day.
  6. The lists ignore external factors that might help or hinder success (heritage, wealth, geographic location, race, sex, gender, nationality, etc.)

I’m sure we could go on.  These kinds of lists, at best, are clickbait.  At worst, they could actually do damage to people.  Assuming the same advice will work for everyone is nonsense.  When people earnestly believe it should work but follow the lists and see no results, they may ultimately feel something is wrong with them instead of with a Forbes article. 

The true and less satisfying answer, of course, is that every person’s path to success is different.  You have to find what works for you.  Could that involve stuff you read off a listicle?  Maybe.  But if you’re pining for change in your life and can’t come up with the ideas of journaling or waking up early yourself, you may have different problems.